Bad Prayers from Parents to Children Answered?
So the explanation ...
Answer:
Bismillah walhamdulillah was sholaatu wassalam'ala Rasulillah wa ba'du.
We all realize that parents have high rights over us. We are obliged to be devoted and obedient to them as long as they command is good. Although, the attitude of parents as you mentioned in the question, this does not abort their rights to us as children. So we suggest: look for the right atmosphere for a casual chat with your parents. Tell us about your problem with them in polite language. Show an attitude of respect and affection.
Accept the Bad Prayer from the Parents
First, on the origin, the parents' prayers for their children are Mustajab (Effective). This applies if the prayer is pronounced sincerely and consciousness, not in an unstable emotional state. Then the child was very rebellious to his Parents.The Prophet, said,
ثلاث دعوات مستجابات لا شك فيهن: دعوة الوالد على ولده ، ودعوة المسافر ، ودعوة المظلوم.
There are three prayers that are certain to come true: (1) Father's bad prayers to their children. (2) Prayer for travelers. (3) Prayers of people who are molested.
(Narrated by Tirmidzi, judged by Hasan by Sheikh Albani)
Second, even so, the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam forbade parents, praying for ugliness for their Child.
He said,
لا تدعوا على أنفسكم ولا تدعوا على أولادكم ولا تدعوا على أموالكم لا توافقوا من الله ساعة يسأل فيها عطاء فيستجيب لكم
"Don't you pray for evil for yourself, or your children, or your property. Do not let you keep a time that at that time Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala was asked something then He granted your prayers. "
(Narrated by Muslim)
If the prayer is fulfilled, one possibility is the feeling that we will experience, namely regret.
There is a severe threat that reads: if only the prayer fulfills a certain time, Allah will grant that prayer, so that only regret will occur, indicating that the prohibition in the above hadith is haram. As concluded thus by Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen rahimahullah,
كل هذا حرام لا يجوز لأنه ربما صاف ساعة إجابة ..
Evil prayers like this are haraam. Because it could be fulfilling when God granted prayer so that it came true.
(Syarah Riyadussholihin, Ibn Uthaymeen, 6/51)
Third, bad prayer from parents for their children, which is said when angry, God does not grant.
This is between the form of God's love for His Servant.
The argument is the following verse,
۞ولو يعجل ٱلله للناس ٱلشر ٱستعجالهم بٱلخير لقضي إليهم أجلهم فنذر ٱلذين لا يرجون لقآءنا في طغينهم يعمهون
And if Allah was to hasten for the people the evil [they invoke] as He hastens for them the good, their term would have been ended for them. But We leave the ones who do not expect the meeting with Us, in their transgression, wandering blindly
Imam Qotadah explains this verse,
هو دعاء الإنسان على نفسه وماله بما يكره أن يُستجاب له
This verse speaks of a person who prays badly for himself or his property. He hoped that the bad prayer would soon be granted.
(Fathul Bari, 10/211).
Imam Mujahid Rahimahullah also gave a similar explanation,
قولُ الإنسان لولده وماله إذا غضب: اللهم لا تُبارك فيه والْعَنْهُ ، {لَقُضِيَ إِلَيْهِمْ أَجَلُهُمْ} ، لَأَهلَكَ مَن دُعِيَ عليه ، ولَأَماتَهُ
"If God hastens evil for humans", it means someone's prayer is offered to his child or property when he is angry, "O God, do not bless him ... curse him ..." (or another bad prayer)
"Then it will end their age" means: he will perish because of the prayer and can die because of that bad prayer.
(Narrated by Imam Bukhori in his Shohih book)
In the Qur'anic Interpretation of Al-'adhim, Ibn Kathir rahimahullah added information,
يخبر تعالى عن حلمه ولطفه بعباده: أنه لا يستجيب لهم إذا دعوا على أنفسهم أو أموالهم أو أولادهم في حال ضجرهم وغضبهم, وأنه يعلم منهم عدم القصد إلى إرادة ذلك, فلهذا لا يستجيب لهم -والحالة هذه -لطفا ورحمة.
In this verse, Allah preaches His love and tenderness to His servants. That God will not grant their prayers if they pray badly for themselves, their property or children when their condition is angry. God knows that their prayers were unintentionally intended for the prayer to come true. Because it was not granted. As a form of tenderness and affection.
(See: Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 4/251)
Fourth, if the child is not rebellious, he has tried to devote to his parents, then get a bad prayer from his parents, then Allah will not grant the prayer.
In Fatawa Syabakah Islamiyah number 115110 explained,
ولكن إن كان الولد على بر بوالديه دعاء والديه عليه محض ظلم وعدوان فهذا الدعاء لا يستجاب إن شاء الله
If the child is devoted to his parents, he is kind to both of them, while he gets a bad prayer from his mother, then this kind status of prayer is evilness to children, or unjustified hatred. So prayers like this, will not be granted inshallah. The basis is the word of the Prophet ﷺ,
لا يزال يستجاب للعبد ما لم يدع بإثم أو قطيعة رحم.
Prayers will always be granted as long as they do not contain sins or break the relationship.
(Narrated by Muslim)
Thus.
Wallahua'lam bis showab.
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