Can You Force Married Girls?
Law Forces Girls to Married
AssalammualaikumI want to ask
regarding my cousin was forced to marry the choice of her parents What is the law if women are forced, while the woman does not want to. Jazakallah khoir.
Answer:
Wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Bismillah was sholaatu wassalam'ala Rasulillah, amma ba'du.
First, we need to know that, willingness to make a marriage bond is an obligation.
Islam refuses to force parents to daughters to marry men chosen by parents, while the child dislikes. So marriage is built on love and affection. Because among the purposes of marriage is to achieve sakinah mawaddah wa rahmah (peace, sincerity of love and affection). This will be difficult to achieve if marriage is built on coercion.
Second, humans cannot force love.
Love is an expression of instinct that cannot be forced. The Quran also understands that love cannot be forced no matter what the circumstances. Allah ta'ala says,
وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَة
"And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful. "
"Some commentators (explain the meaning of the word Allah ta'ala), 'And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives ...', the meaning is: you will not be able to be fair in terms of feelings stored in your heart (love). " Obviously Imam Shafi'i rahimahullah in the book Al-Umm (5/158)
Third, the prophet did not force.
This kind of event happened at the time of the Prophet sallallaahu'alaihiwasallam . Let's see how the Prophet sallallaahu'alaihiwasallam reacted to it.
Mentioned in the narrative of the Khansa shohabiyyah 'bint Khidzam Al-Anshariyah radhiallahu anha,
أَنَّ أَبَاهَا زَوَّجَهَا وَهِيَ ثَيِّبٌ فَكَرِهَتْ ذَلِكَ فَأَتَتْ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَرَدَّ نِكَاحَهَا
"That her father married her - when she was a widow - with a man she didn't like. So she came to meet the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam (to complain) then the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wasallam canceled her marriage. "
(Narrated by Bukhari no. 5138)
On another occasion, Ibn 'Abbas radhiyallaahu' anhuma told of a girl who had met the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam , complaining about his father who had married the girl without the pleasure of his heart. Then the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam gived his choice to the Girl; does she want to continue or cancel his marriage.
(Narrated by Abu Dawud no. 2096 and Ibn Majah no. 1875)
Strictly speaking, the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu'alaihiwasallam forbade it through his word,
لاَ تُنْكَحُ اْلأَيِّمُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْمَرَ وَلاَ تُنْكَحُ الْبِكْرُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْذَنَ. قَالُوْا: يَا رَسُوْلَ اللهِ ، وَكَيْفَ إِذْنُهَا؟ قَالَ: أَنْ تَسْكُتَ
"A widow must not be married except after being asked for a discussion. Thus a girl may not be married except after being asked for permission. "
The Companions asked, "O Messenger of Allah, what is the permission?"
"If she is silent," replied the Prophet.
(Narrated by Bukhori no. 5136, Muslim no. 1419, Abu Dawud no. 2092, at-Tirmidhi (no. 1107), Ibn Majah no. 1871 and An-Nasai VI / 86)
In another hadith, the Prophet sallahu'alaihiwasallam also firmly said,
الثَّيِّبُ أَحَقُّ بِنَفْسِهَا مِنْ وَلِيِّهَا وَالْبِكْرُ يَسْتَأْذِنُهَا أَبُوهَا فِي نَفْسِهَا وَإِذْنُهَا صُمَاتُهَا
"A widow is more entitled to herself than her wali (guardian), while a virgin is then her father must ask for approval from her. And the agreement is silence. "
(Narrated by Muslim no. 1421, from Ibn Abbas radhiyallahu'anhuma)
From the above hadiths then the majority of the ulama (Jumhur) such as the Hanafi school, Imam Ahmad, Al-Auza'i, Ats-Tsauri, Abu Tsaur, Ibnul Mundzir, and Shaykhul Islam Ibn Taymiyah - may Allah's grace be with them, concluded, that a girl's willingness to accept a man who asks for applying for marriage is an obligation. Forcing to get married is an illegal act.
(See: Shahih Fiqh Sunnah, 3/127)
To the extent, Imam Bukhari gave the chapter title in his Saheeh book to the hadith above,
باب لا ينكح الأب وغيره البكر والثيب إلا برضاها
"Chapter: A father or other wali (guardian), may not marry his daughter or widowed woman, except on the basis of the willingness of the woman to marry."
In the book Fathul Bari, Imam Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani gives a note on the title of the chapter written by Imam Bukhari above,
إن الترجمة معقودة لاشتراط رضا المزوجة بكرا كانت أويرة كانت أو كبيرة ، وهو الذي يقتضيه ظاهر الحديث
"The title of this chapter explains, that it requires the blessing of the bride (in marriage), whether it is still a girl or a widow; young or old widow. This is what is in accordance with the hadith traditions. "
Is the marriage valid?
If it has happened, the status of the marriage contract is invalid. Becomes legitimate if then the Girl is happy to accept the marriage. However, even if it is not valid, if it has happened the bride may not remarry except after getting a divorce from her husband, or the marriage bond has been canceled by the local Government.And in this condition, the husband may not "sleep with" his wife until his wife is willing to marry him. Because the marriage is illegal, it will be valid if the wife has willing.
(See: Liqo 'As-Syahri, Ibn Uthaymeen, 1/343)
Our advice: Parents should fear Allah. Then look for the right and comfortable atmosphere to ask for his daughter's approval before marrying her to a man of choice. So that she is calm and happy in carrying out the household ark. Thus sakinah and mawaddah rahmah war can be achieved in her marriage. We certainly do not want our children to languish, in undergoing a household ark, only because of our momentary ego.
So much.
Wallahua'lam bis showab.
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